Defeat!

How does it feel to face the reality? Things don't happen as we wish. Hard reality. It is devastating to have expected something and getting just the opposite in return. The feeling of helplessness, hopelessness and frustration is enough to lose your sanity. Sometimes, we try our best, covering all the odds and yet fail to get what we tried hard for. It's very disappointing especially if you have no idea what else should you have done.

In school, be it winning an election or qualifying for the school sports team or getting the top rank, we all have faced disappointments. If you are one among those who have achieved all of these without hindrances, then probably you are one of the lucky few. How we envy you!

In college, we could have faced disappointments in not getting closer to our crush. That moment when we see our crush and blush uncontrollably, do something stupid to get noticed and yet at the end, we face the fact that our crush is taken. And if you have did get lucky, then hat's off.

Apart from such disappointments, there could be many more. These were small disappointments. But the magnitude of the disappointment is at it's max when felt for the first time. then gradually, as time passes, drops down to it's minimum. But the minimum value never really is zero. It's always hidden somewhere under our joys and present happiness.

"Time heals the heart" is a famous saying. And if somebody reminds you of this saying when you are at the max level of your disappointment, then they certainly have lost it. What can words do when the heart is broken? At such times, sleep helps the best. Sleep is like a semi-death. We feel nothing and remember nothing. It's the best way to escape reality. But how much can one sleep? It is very hard to get some sleep as we are busy thinking of how unfortunate we are. Thinking kills sleep and sleep kills thinking.

"Tears" help reveal us of the pain to a great extent. But the problem with us (elders) is that, we feel crying is a very kiddish thing to do. But crying like a baby definitely has it's advantages. Heart feels lighter. It's magical. Nothing can make us feel better than crying. It is shameful, I agree. But not at the cost of losing one's sanity.

As time passes, we realize why we tried hard yet failed. There's always something better than what we expect waiting for us. But how long is the wait?

Photo credits- http://my.opera.com/mybedautay/albums/showpic.dml?album=684532&picture=9297066

Joie de Vivre

How grueling it is to travel in a BMTC bus! Especially when you are standing! The struggle you undergo to balance when the driver puts a sudden break, when the driver takes a U turn or when someone is pushing you off to get to the door as their stop approaches. You try your best to balance so that the neighbouring aunty doesn’t yell at you when you by chance lose your balance and stamp her foot by mistake. Uff!!! In midst of all this, an irritating conductor pushing everyone and trying to make his way to the front asking “Ticket or Pass? Go inside. There’s a lot of place”? Like as if there’s plenty of room to do gymnastics!


But today, I was lucky enough to get a seat in the bus. I sat thinking about various sad incidents of my life, how I have suffered, how I overcame and still trying to overcome a few problems and was listening to an absolutely sad song. There was so much of pain in the song which I could empathize with. It was 9 p.m. and I knew that I would get sound advice from my father after I reach home. To top it, I got caught in a railway junction. To let a single train pass, so many vehicles had to wait. How frustrating!

But as I sat waiting, I observed people around me. I saw a small boy sleeping on his Grandfather’s lap. The Grandfather was protectively hugging his Grandson so that he doesn’t fall when suddenly the bus starts. I got a sudden feeling of joy seeing that affection. Then, I saw two college going girls talking and laughing about something. I felt joyful seeing them laugh. Then, I saw an old woman wearing a red colour scarf sleeping against the closed window glass. Seeing her sleep peacefully, I got a feeling of joy.

I turned behind and saw two aunties gossiping. They were so much into the conversation that they really didn’t care about the railway junction signal. I got a sense of joy looking at them. And not to forget the girl who was sitting and talking to someone over the phone (probably her boyfriend). The train arrives and it gets noisy “Wait.. I can’t hear you. Are you there?” And as the train passes and the noise reduces, she says “Are you still there? Thank God! The train went. I can hear you clearly. Can you hear me?” I got a sense of joy when I saw the satisfaction on her face.

Now, the background sad song which I was listening to sounded joyful too. I realised that we can find joy in every small thing in life. No matter how big problem we are in. There is so much around to be happy about, to appreciate about and to feel joyful about. That is joie de vivre! The joy of living!